


Kyle Ron's Magnificent Undercover Adventure

by unfortunategay



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Also a douche, For very good reason, Gen, How Do I Tag, Kylo Ren is Matt the Radar Technician, One-Sided Attraction, Rey Hates Kylo Ren, Undercover Missions, leia is perfect in every way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-20
Updated: 2018-09-20
Packaged: 2019-07-14 22:03:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16049477
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unfortunategay/pseuds/unfortunategay
Summary: Question: what’s the best way to dismantle a rebellion?Answer: destroy it from the inside.“Who are you?” they had asked.  They knew exactly who he was.  Blonde hair and glasses are hardly enough to hide the face of the general’s son.“I’m Matt,” Kylo had said, “I’m a radar technician.”





	Kyle Ron's Magnificent Undercover Adventure

Question: what’s the best way to dismantle a rebellion?

Answer: destroy it from the inside.

Or at least that’s what Kylo Ren told his supreme overlord of pasty bigheadedness when he declared that he himself would be going undercover with the Galactic Resistance™. After his apparent success spying on the loyalty and dedication of his employees, he was confident in his ability to infiltrate the rebel base on Cophrigin V.

He went as far back into his closet as he could go (this was not a metaphor, the boy was straighter than khaki shorts at a barbeque, although he wouldn’t know what either of those were) and brought out his famed disguise. Less than a week later, Matt the radar technician had crash landed on Cophrigin, to be found by allied fighters.

“Who are you?” they had asked. They knew exactly who he was. Blonde hair and glasses are hardly enough to hide the face of the general’s son.

“I’m Matt,” Kylo had said, “I’m a radar technician.”  
__________

He sat in a very uncomfortable chair. Most chairs on the base were uncomfortable, but this was by far the worst. Kylo had no way of knowing this, but his flair for the dramatic paired with the rebels’ collective pettiness ensured this was the case. He had been waiting for several hours and at this point was becoming less concerned with his mission and more concerned with how overwhelmingly bored he was.

“We’re very busy,” they had said, “You’ll just have to wait.” Busy, in this particular situation, did not mean ‘we’re too preoccupied to get to you at this exact moment’ but rather, ‘we’re bored out of our minds at this base in the middle of nowhere but nobody really wants to talk to you because you’re the douchebag who took over the universe and killed your dad when he asked you nicely to not do that’.

So Kylo waited, bored and tired and admittedly a bit peckish, until the door opened finally, bringing into the room a very cold draft and the man who Kylo vaguely recognized as the stormtrooper defect. FN-something, he thought. He didn’t know. He had always relied on whoever else was present to remember the number. He was checked over thoroughly for weapons, as if the first two frisks hadn’t been enough, and levelled with a coldly calculating stare.

“Why did you leave the First Order and how did you find us?”

If it had been a less suspicious action Kylo would have gulped. “Kylo Ren killed my coworkers and threatened to kill me because of a mistake with the ship’s radar. I heard rumors of a rebel base and followed them here.” It was only half a lie, technically, which Kylo felt he should be rewarded for. The radar crew had been killed because of a mistake, and he had followed the rumors. If the mistake had been calling Kylo a “punk bitch”, and the rumors had been a tracker on a rebel ship, well nobody needed to know. 

The not-stormtrooper sighed deeply and looked at the wall. There may have been someone on the other side of it, watching in on them and communicating with the man, but this is Star Wars and not a detective novella so it was far more likely that the man was simply staring at the wall in complete and utter exasperation. He looked at Kylo with an extremely suspicious side-eye, then turned on his heel and opened the door.

“Yeah sure why not, come on,” he stepped into the hallway and started walking, leaving Kylo scurrying to keep up. He looked on in interest as they passed several rooms, but he noted with disappointment that even if the doors had been open, every corridor looked exactly the same and there was very little chance he would be able to accurately find any useful room without some sort of tour.

He was finally lead to a small room with a door that didn’t open automatically and instead had to be pulled open manually. It was filled with cables and smaller wires, with large colorful buttons all over the walls and a strange assortment of tools littering the floor. He could hear a faint clanging from somewhere in the room, but he couldn’t quite tell where it was coming from.

“Rey,” his guide called. The clamoring stopped and a head popped up from under the floorboards. Kylo’s breath caught in his throat. It was the Jedi girl, the one who had thoroughly kicked his ass on multiple levels. She looked at him like she was about to punch him again, although that was unlikely since there was no way she could see through his disguise. She used her rippling muscles to pull herself out of the floor and walked over to Kylo with such beauty, such grace.

And she punched him in the face.

“Ow,” he said. It was not said calmly. He wanted to use his awesome Sith power to force choke her for such a blatant act of disrespect, but she wasn’t Hux or a stormtrooper and it would blow his cover so he had to sit silently and stew in his discomfort and shock instead.

“It’s custom to punch new recruits in the face,” she told him flatly. She didn’t apologize for it.

“Did you punch him in the face?” Kylo pointed to FN-whatever in indignation, his voice loud in its anger.

“Yes,” she responded.

“Did she?” He turned to ask the man.

“Uh,” he looked at her, unsure, then turned back and looked him in the eye as he said “yeah, for sure.”

Was he telling the truth? Well he’d looked Kylo in the eye when he said it so he must have been. The rebels were absolutely barbaric. Kylo was sure they didn’t even have med droids to fix his hurting nose.

“Do you have medical droids? That hurt.”

“Ye…” the not-stormtrooper started to speak before Rey interrupted him. 

“No.”

He knew it.

“So Rey,” not-stormtrooper said, “General Organa assigned this one to you.”

“Why me?”

“I don’t know.”

“I don’t want him.”

“Nobody does.”

Kylo made an indignant sound, but he was still holding his nose pathetically so he couldn’t rise to defend himself.

Rey looked at him like he’d killed her dad. He didn’t think he had, but since he had no idea who her dad was he couldn’t be sure. He wondered if she’d looked at the stormtrooper like that when they’d first met, if this was a norm for First Order defects. Now, of course, she looked at the man like he was the sun (but without the squinting). Kylo wished she’d look at him like that.

She sighed. “Fine, but only because the general said so.”

She turned to him, straight backed and as formal as a scrawny 5’7” girl in borrowed clothes could look. “I’m Rey,” she told him. She didn’t try to shake his hand, which he was glad for since it was probably covered in oil.

He scrunched up his nose, and when the pain was minimal he stood upright once more. “Hi,” he told her, “I’m Matt. I’m a radar technician.”

She turned and hopped back down into the floor. He heard some tinkering sounds for a moment before, “Hand me the spanner then.”

“What.”

“The spanner, I’m working on radar right now, so you can help me out.”

Kylo looked helplessly at the assortment of tools and wires on the floor. None of them looked like a spanner, but he also had no idea what a spanner looked like.

Rey’s hand was suddenly in his face, outstretched and waiting. “Spanner.”

He didn’t know what to do. He picked up the first tool he could reach and placed it gingerly in her hand. 

She took it, looked at it, and threw it at him.

“Not what I asked for,” she snapped. “Finn, hand me the spanner?” 

The ex-stormtrooper, Finn apparently, walked across the room, picked up a strange looking tool just out of Kylo’s reach.

“I’m having lunch with Poe later, you should join us,” Finn said, putting the tool in Rey’s hand.

She looked at it, pleased, and kept working. “Sure.”

“He’s not invited,” Finn said.

“Good,” Rey replied.

Kylo wondered if they were always this mean to people.

**Author's Note:**

> might add more to this eventually, not sure quite yet


End file.
